In fact I even had a number of people of God tell me that God had shown me what I was going through, even though I told absolutely nobody. There was no way they could have known the details had it not been revealed to them. I am somewhat of a private person for an extrovert. If I begin exposing my weaknesses and feelings to someone it tends to mean I have really gotten close. The rest of the world gets my ideas, my beleifs, my interests and my jokes (well most get my jokes but anyways... )
Speaking of humor, that is what this is leading to... God's sense of humor. God most certainly has one. He would have to since we are created in His likeness and image. A good healthy sense of humor is actually an admirable thing and it is one of the finest most unique gifts of being human.
At any rate, with all the ways God used to reach me, none of them seemed to be enough. I was in a very poor emotional state. Then one night I became really desperate! I remembered that Jesus said if we ask anything in His name and do not doubt we will have exactly what we pray for. So I opened my Bible to Mark eleven and I read it. I remembered that Kenneth Hagin Sr. had said that he was healed off of that verse because of his faith. So I became bold, not so much in my spirit but in my emotions. I told Jesus that I wanted Him to let me see Him that very night and I told Him He had to do because I was going to beleive and not doubt. I fell asleep with that mindset.
Then just before I woke up I had a night vision. There are some distinctions between a night vision and a dream, but to explain those is not really the purpose of my note tonight. In this night vision I simply saw a bible before me and I opened it to the book of Acts where I was reading Peter's words at the gathering of the day of Pentecost. I litterally saw every word and was reading my bible just like I would had I been awake.
When I got to the part where it said "this is that spoken by the prophet Joel" something strange began to happen. Peter's words began turning read as I would read them. As I kept reading, more and more words were turning red. I started franticly flipping pages to other books and every scripture was not only precisely where they would be as if I was awake and holding a bible, but each word was fastly turning red until I flipped over to the book of Revelation and even it was red. Then I arose from the vision and sat up in bed startled.
I knew I had just heard from God in a marvelous way, but I was somewhat perplexed about the vision. Then it hit me what I had prayed for. I wanted to see Jesus and I had really beleived it would happen, but I got stuck with this perplexing vision. It did not seem fair. Then I heard the voice of Jesus by His Spirit speak to my human spirit. He said (paraphrased), "You wanted to see me and I honored your request. I am the Word made flesh and when you study the written word you are seeing me."
I knew then what He was saying to me. In order to get out of my pit of despair I would need to do so by seeing Him through the lens of His word. Of course we know true faith comes by hearing the Word of God! I immediatly burst out laughing! It was almost like God had played a joke on me. He knew exactly what I had asked Him for but still He chose to give me the answer in a humorous way. I can't even begin to tell you how healthy that laughter was for me. It had been months since I had really experienced the joy of laughter, one of God's greatest gifts!
